"R: Roleplay" Showdown at the ACLS Corral With Michael Copass, ER god

"Fake it 'til You Make it" Wait a minute! Isn't this being fake? Who wants someone who's fakey? Like many tools, roleplay can be used in a good way, and in not-so-good ways.

There is so much hiding behind a mask in this society. Especially with some members of my family, I cannot be who I really am without making them angry. It gets tiresome. Twice in my life, at times of incredible stress, I have been told, "Being around you is like walking on eggs." (Yes, I have a temper under stress, like all of us. Luckily, I have a part of me that does not justify this, and yes, does feel guilty about it and I have been working on changing how I express anger, sooner when the stress isn't as bad.)Interestingly, the two people who told me that were the same two people who were stepping on my toes and refusing to listen to me when I told them, "Please don't do that." They were trying with their eggshell comment to invoke my guilt, so that they would not have to admit theirs. One of those persons is now out of my life. The other one I have invited back in. It is getting better, but only because I am not allowing my buttons to be pushed when the person tries. Nothing like a bout of serious illness to force you to get rid of the stress in your life, and start properly prioritizing--at least if you have some grasp of reality.

There are two types of masks one can wear--one to experience another character, feel their feelings, perhaps use their strength to give you strength when you can't find it within yourself. The second is one to give an impression you are someone whom you really are not. Have you noticed that actors who really enjoy being parents somehow wind up in roles as parents? And then there are the Angelina Jolies of the world: "I have adopted these children because I am a loving mother", but the roles she most likes to play are hard-nosed, macha females who kill people. Mother Theresa, she is not.

Before I experienced the change in my thought process back in 2002, I would give these people the benefit of the doubt. Now I call them as I see them--at least in my mind. Last night I was watching "48 Hours", a poor woman whose husband had attacked her and she had defended herself with a chopping knife, killing him. I was believing her until it came out that she had taken over her husband's office; his assets were all in her name; and, after many years of plying his trade in a professional manner, he had, since marrying her, taken chances and changed his trade to a similar one which made more money. He was in trouble with the authorities, the marriage was in trouble, and in two weeks, his life insurance policy was due to run out. OOPS! She was a good actor, but it became very evident who was the sociopath in the pair. The jury saw it my way--you should have seen the roleplaying: first the angry, wrongly judged innocent wife, then the crying and wailing innocent wife. The real kicker was when her comment was not wonder at how she could be where she is, but rather the self-absorbed observation that "I don't think I'll do well in prison." Well, as she deserves, she'll have a long time to figure it out.

To get back to the proper types of roleplay. We doctors use roleplay all the time--I, as a doctor, am supposed to be the all caring person who is here for your every complaint. Right--I am a human being with stresses and who has a very real slump in the day about 3:00PM, as most of us do. You use it with your friends--Your mind is telling you, "NOT that story AGAIN!", and you still laugh because you know that it is a favorite of this friend--and by God, the first ten times you heard it, it was funny. So you reach into the memory banks, and pull out who you were then, and the laugh sounds genuine. I use this example because I am notorious for retelling stories, and I do see it in their eyes. I love them all the more for that roleplay. One day there comes a time when you and your friend are close enough, and you are rested and unstressed, and somehow it comes out in a loving way that you have heard that story before, several times. And the friend is embarrassed, you forgive, the friend shrugs heanother r shoulders at that particular trait, and says, "When I start in again, please stop me before I torture you. PLEASE!"

There is exercise in roleplay that I have found useful; it is called "__________ On My Shoulder" It is 2:00PM, I am booked until 5:30PM, and I want nothing more than to go home and crawl into a hot bathtub. I put Dr. Marcus Welby on my shoulder, and say what he tells me to say until I have made it through what I need to do--and I do it in order to give the patient what they need that day.

Or a classic example: It was fourth year of medical school and I had my first ever final in Advanced Cardiac Life Support with the guy who invented CPR. It was going to be Anxiety City! I put on my cowboy boots, put John Wayne on my shoulder, and I went on to tell Dr. Copass exactly how to perform pericardiocentesis after the twelve people in front of me have failed to resuscitate this particular manikin and the monitor shows a normal sinus rhythm, but no pulse. THIS is the use that Linda Franklin has in mind.

So glad I studied theater in high school, so glad that I am not an ER doctor, and so glad that, the next time, I could do it in flats. Shoes make all the difference.

"C: Choice" Both Sides Now, The Hero's Quest, and quantum physics

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
as every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go
and if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
from give and take, and still somehow
it's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say "I love you" right out loud,
dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads,
they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
from win and lose, and still somehow
it's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all." Joni Mitchell

I am reading this great book from the library on the "The Medical Model" of psychiatry and "The Psychoanalytical Model." It is entitled Healing the Soul in the Age of the Brain, and was written in 2001 by Elio Frattaroli. M.D.

A few years ago, I read where neuroscientists are finding that the brain is wired much as Freud described in his final years. His initial theories, which we hear the most about, he himself rejected, and went on to attempt to formulate a unified theory of psychology---kind like they are just now attempting to do in physics. As one family medicine program director I know once said, "Physicists think that biologists are too 'fuzzy.' Biologists think that sociologists are too 'fuzzy.' Sociologists think that psychologists are too 'fuzzy.' It's really that we are just talking about degrees of complexities." So if Einstein was a genius, what does that make Freud? He almost came up with the necessary theory--but subsequently it was dissected by the analytic types who currently rule the world of science.

My approach is integrative, and hence I believe that we need the integrative approach, especially now that we have dissected the human genome--how can we integrate that information?

The first point I will make from this book is to repeat an analogy that he uses to describe two approaches to life: The lap swimming approach versus The Hero's Quest approach. When we make a choice which approach do we choose? Is there a difference and is one better than the other?

The first approach he describes as like swimming laps in a pool. We occasionally come up for air, but mostly just put our heads down and swim in our lane, trying not to bump anyone else. Much of life is like this, and it is a good way to accomplish "life fitness," mostly building endurance.

The second approach he describes in Jungian terms: The Hero's Quest. The analogy is that we view our life as a quest for a prize of great value. We then expect to bump into others, to have failure as well as victory. We expect to fall down and have to pick ourselves up. Or as one of my friends, Walter H. Hunt, who wrote the excellent series of sci fi books, "The Dark Wing" Series, describes in his books, one must "Break the Ice Wall" You have to read the books to really understand that reference. For me, it describes my experience of resolving the Electra Complex, then having my mother die, and surviving the aftermath. In the books, the hero then finds him/herself in the Valley of the Lost Souls--yup, recognize it! Then must cross that to achieve his/her goal. There are of course, Dark Forces, other players, the hero's companion and assistant. In life, we usually don't have just one who play this role--in fact, Walter has played some of those roles in my own life. One reason I consider him such a good friend.

Obviously, the Hero's Quest is more exciting, the rewards more valuable, the challenges greater. Yet, there is value in endurance--in fact without it, the Hero could never accomplish his quest. Just as light is sometimes a particle and sometimes a wave, we must accept both ways of looking at life, and use both according to the time. He who only swims laps becomes limited in his outlook. He who only searches, if he has not endurance, will fail and wander in the desert.

Yet, even after looking at both sides, we find ourselves not knowing life--because it is the most complex issue of all--with integration of the two viewpoints we know much more about light than we used to, yet as my husband informed me this am, we cannot, looking back along the history of the universe using light-years, see The Big Bang--if there was one. Only The Light knows for sure.

I CREATE: "Imagination" Fantasy, the Army, and the Inheritance of Power

"I" is for Imagination - use this amazing tool to figure out what you want

"C" is for Choice - this determines the quality of your life - choose wisely

"R" is for Role Play - fake it until you make it - copy others who have what you want - it works

"E" is for Education - learn to replace old habits with new behaviors

"A" is for Action - conquering the fear - getting off the fence and doing it

"T" is for Time Out - fun is essential - decide what makes you happy and make time for it

"E" is for Endurance - live today as if your dreams have already come true - don't fall into the why hasn't it happened yet trap and give up prematurely


Imagination always reminds me of the Disney World exhibit where the crazy professor has the purple dragon, "Figment" I often would tell my nurses when I came in to work on charts on days off, I am wearing purple and my name is Figment. I threatened to get one to put outside my door--or perhaps a sweatshirt to wear on such days, or t-shirt. That clinic had horrible heating system so I had to dress warm, most are better.

As a fantasy/sci fi/mythology addict, literally, I use fantasy novels to escape from the stresses of life. There is one series I have read close to 30 times. It is a strength thing. I go there, imagine myself as the rider of a queen dragon managing the community and fighting thread--and I come back much more confident in my abilities in the real world. These novels got me through medical school quite literally. One is focused on a dragon healer and queen rider, Moreta, one of my favorite characters. When I felt unworthy, I became Moreta for awhile, and then I was a beautiful, desirable woman. Because she was also a healer and loved animals first, I could easily put myself in her shoes--and the elderly Queen rider, Leri, reminded me of the mother of my former major relationship--with Captain Bly, as my father named him. I shortened it to CB, and teased him about being like a friend's bull, Cuddles the Bull. They had the same forelock, and he was a Taurus. He preferred Captain Bly...But I had a great relationship with his mom. She taught me a lot. We had our differences, and we could be honest with each other about them. That is really what loving is. If one makes a marriage, one must take the extra step of choosing to make a life with that person, and the people whom they love. We did better at the latter than the former...Well, I did, but I have the more judgmental and controlling family, as you can see.

So back to imagination. This is the time of year that we let our imaginations go on who we could become. What is the best you can be? Yesterday was Navy, today we'll do Army. For some the military is a way to strengthen their character. It requires a certain amount of narcissism to survive it, and it is best for knocking down that overwhelming "id" and teaching us discipline. Two types of people don't do well there--one is the one with extremely strong narcissistic personality, and one is that one who has little or no narcissism--the hazing is just too harsh for the latter. The former cannot accept the discipline--and often wind up in Special Forces if they are able to stay in. CB had trained with the Navy Seals as part of the Air Forces Underwater Demolition Team--he was an incredible snorkeling coach, would hold your hand as you quaked in the sea, and could free dive to 90 feet! He just always fought with the owner of the boat in some way...I managed to lose my glasses in the first port on the trip where I met him, a small bay in the Virgin Islands. We were in 20' of water, on a 100' anchor line proscribing an arc through the water, and I was too nearsighted to give him a landmark. He searched for an hour,and darn near lost his knife. I thought it was kindness, but it was really narcissism, to prove how good he was at diving. Everyone else saw that, I didn't, amazing what imagination can tell you when you don't want to face the truth.

So there is good and bad imagination. The first allows us to envision our dreams, hopes, possibilities. The second allows us to ignore and rationalize that which we don't want to see. How do we tell the difference? In my experience, we don't until we get hit by the 2X4 over the head with reality. One day, after suffering enough of these blows, we find ourselves recognizing reality. It's what Freud called the resolution of the Oedipus or Electra complex and believed that there was a biological equivalent in the brain. I think that there is a modulation pathway that develops in the brain that allows us to think in this way. Freud said age three--I think that under optimal conditions it could happen as early as age three. More commonly, it happens as we get older. Of course, the older we get, the harder it is to grow new pathways--decreased plasticity is the scientific term. So some of us never do complete the process. We are in actuality infants and toddlers in adult bodies.

For me this occurred about a month before my 45th birthday, and was accompanied by a prescribed overdose of amphetamine salts which caused me to actually become psychotic in the following four weeks. This is because I also have bipolar disorder. The ability to live in fantasy allowed me to keep from becoming manic, as I would escape or misbehave which allowed me to release that tension. Imagine two year olds... Then I crossed the threshold and started facing reality. A mere two years later, my mother died. I was faced with the emotional equivalent of being a five(?) year old losing her mother, with the intellectual knowledge of a doctor that revealed the medical truths. It was not an easy transition of power--for all of us absorb the power of our parent when they die.

I had lost my father at age 21, when he had a hemorrhagic stroke and was never the same man. I held it together emotionally for my mother at the time, but paid for that in years of not being able to face the reality of his stroke. It hit me equally hard when he had the second one and his doctor wanted to put in a feeding tube, evoking pictures of patients with little mental function alive, but not living. I screeched "NO!" into the phone at my poor mother--then stopped and said, "I'm sorry, Mom, that was the daughter talking. Let me get into doctor mode and give you my best answer."

I only recently have gotten onto good medication for my bipolar. My father also had it, and I believe that there is a genetic basis for it in his family. Maybe even related to the fact that he had only one kidney which was the root of his death. Amazing how the Arthurian legend moral of each man planting the seed of his own death is acted out in reality. I know in my heart that I am ready to face the world, having sorted through the chaff, and extracted the wheat. Humm, my favorite play place as a child was the parked combines on the wheat ranch. Winter wheat is my symbol for love--amazing synergy. See---Jung was right, too.

Medicine, the Love Boat, and Grandpas "Violet: Service"

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
John Wesley


This is the founder of Methodism, the discipline in which I was raised. It branched off from Anglicanism, got rid of the pomp and circumstance, and took religion back to the people--rather like the American Constitution did for government, though most of the Founding Fathers were still identified with the Anglican Church, or Episcopalian as it also revolted from its English Mother. It was a time of great arrogance in England, much as the USA is experiencing right now. Those people of great thought tried to reform, and when reform failed, they were willing to fight, and lay down their lives for what they believed in. However, one will note that what we consider as "good," the creation of a government for the people, and by the people was undertaken by those of great humility, such as George Washington.

If I could inject service anywhere in my life it would be into my profession. Doctoring is the greatest of all service professions--yes, more than nursing because we take the ultimate responsibility on our shoulders and we accept that when we enter our training--that we will have the ultimate responsibility. It is like being the captain of a ship, or a CEO, even if you are "merely" the captain of your patients' health. Like captains, there are good ones and bad ones. This is why surgery was originally separate from doctoring, and in reality still is. Surgeons are like tugboats or towboats--one hires them for a certain amount of time to move this large ship off of the reefs it has gotten itself onto, or nudge it into dock for the repair to start. Specialists are pilots that get you through a tight spot where local knowledge is invaluable. Good captains can get through a lot, with a bit of advice. Unfortunately, because we pay so little for advice, and so much for the intervention off the reefs, we get a lot of checking first for reefs, and we spend way too much on the hiring of pilots and tugboats.

Our current medical system is like The Love Boat, where even the Gopher thinks that the Captain is stupid, and he knows better. The captains are so busy running around trying to organize the ship, that they have no time to learn the local waters--and they have the specter of a legal suit if they put the damn ship into the shallows, let alone on the reefs. So we are paying higher and higher prices because we have turned the helm over to the pilots, and the helmsmen, the cooks who want to be captain, and we have hired the tugboats to navigate us across the deep seas. No wonder it was the Navy who has switched to a system of using family physicians the way they should be used. Psychiatrists, opthalmologists, lawyers, and accountants all have their captains and their pilots, their tugboats and tow boats, because they are complex systems. How much more do we need a family physician for systems biology to really be applied to our health? Instead of it being known as the field where the least intelligent students wind up--as it was in my day, and as far as I can see, still is treated like everyone else can do it better---it should be where we encourage our best and brightest to put their skills. We have encouraged the splitting of medicine for six decades, now is the time to encourage the integration of medicine. Get the captain out of the office, off the phone, and back guiding the helmsman, and on the bridge of the ship where he/she can see the big picture!

Yes, we can use PAs, NPs, genetic counselors, dieticians, physical therapists, respiratory therapists, psychologists, and a whole host of other paraprofessionals, but we need to put a Captain who knows the whole ship at the top and make the pilots answer to him or her, and he deserves to be paid according to his broad expertise.

Okay, enough of the Joe Morris--that's what my family calls me when I get on my soapbox, after my grandfather who wrote frequent letters to the local papers. He finally started his own blog--a weekly column for the small town paper. I am SO much like him in so many ways. He encouraged me when my own father would have held me down. I wish I could have seen how much then, and told him so.

Where can we do service? Charity starts at home--what can I do to improve my field and utilize peoples' talents the best and encourage the people with whom I work to be their best? What can I do to help my family be the best they can be? There will be limits depending on how receptive people are and how diplomatic you can be.

Once you have done your best with that, then look to society and see what you can do there that feeds your soul with the joy of giving, what is important to you. Answer the question, "How can I make a lasting difference?" Meanwhile, support your own spirituality, for service done without humility often creates more evil than it does good.

Onions and Eagles "Indigo: Patriotism"

"Breathes there a man so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
This is my own, my native land."
Sir Walter Scott


Patriotism is fidelity applied to a sense of place. Our attachment to our place of origin is part of what makes up our sense of who we are, that fragile sense of Self that starts our pathway to brain maturation, and the ability to think as an adult. It is the place that our parents chose to raise their children, and even if an unconscious decision, or seemingly random, the place imbues the child with certain characteristics.

As we broaden our minds, then our sense of place also broadens, and yet, deep in us is that starting point as well. If we get in touch with our heart, then we will find that place. My aunt, who passed away peacefully this year, came back to Montana and visited all the places of her childhood, and high school years, and said goodbye to all of them.

I have found that since I decided to do my genetics residency, that I have been revisiting places of the past, people of my past. I will soon be heading to the region of our ranch when I was a child. I haven't lived in this area since I was 13. I am so looking forward to being there, and listening to the wind whistle around the corners of the house like I used to at the ranch.

Most of us Americans think of the military when we say patriotism. It conjures up images of Minutemen, and the Fathers and Mothers of our nation. Our flag, the eagle, uniforms, and bugles. I think of red poppies--that I used to help my mother sell for the Veterans of Foreign Wars Chapter to which my parents belonged. Dad served as a navigator in World War II. Honor--by serving our country we create honor. We have to be careful to keep it in honor of others, and not ourselves. It is easy to get caught up in our honor being about ourselves--that is the way of narcissism. Patriotism must have a sense of humility or it becomes too prideful and that, as the aphorism goes, goeth before a fall.

Accept your roots, you are disconnected from your soul unless you do. Although lots of rhizomes help stabilize a plant, a good root system is essential for how high you can grow. Nourish them, fertilize them, learn them, sometimes we even digest them. Our parents plant them for us, it is up to us to learn to care for them. Only then can we be the eagles that we are.

From Football to God " Blue: Fidelity"

This time of year we are so aware of the often rabid loyalty to American football (that's too long so I am going to call it "Zoneball" and abbreviate it as Z-ball)to Z-ball teams--first high school, then college, then pro-teams. My Nepali family is equally rabid about football (soccer). At the time of the World Cup my news feed is crammed with World cup songs, fans, and those lovely horns! There's brief reprieve from Super Bowl until the opening of baseball season, with the Stanley Cup shortly thereafter.

Last fall, I watched as one of my "Specials," Curtis, a young man of 10, played his first Z-ball game. The societal indoctrination rituals were amazing: the coaches serious, the refs gathered at the side, the girls as young as 3 and 4 in the cheering squad, one rebellious young woman was on Curtis' team. Yeah! Go, Girl! Was there a male on the cheer squad? No, but there was the Black Panther mascot joining the girls. Mothers and fathers were everywhere, cameras aflashing! I must admit that Curtis looked quite handsome in his uniform and I was proud of the way he played. His younger sister got the best shot of him though.

I have been caught up in this dance, really I have. When my medical school, the Huskies traveled to Florida to play for the group of wealthy alums who were there to also take a cruise, I was there in the Orange Bowl, the lone purple shirt in the West End. When we won, I wondered if I should grab the security guard to get out--it was the first time the 'Canes had been beat in the Orange Bowl in 9 years. My friend, who had not cheered much during the first half when her 'Canes were winning, was upset with me for getting so enthusiastic about winning. She had held back out of deference for me, but I hadn't needed her to hold back. I would have preferred she cheer for her team. I like honesty and especially honest emotion--as long as you aren't violent or hurtful, or if you were, you take steps not to be in the future or acknowledge your guilt. Assertiveness is fine, aggression is not.

So what is fidelity? Fidelity is a Met fan who wouldn't dream of cheering for the Yankees in the World Series even if they are playing the Boston Red Sox. Fidelity is picking a star and believing in that star enough to travel across the known world because of what that star means to you. The Magi showed fidelity to their religious prophesies. Our government shows fidelity to big finance--don't like that. It is the government for THE PEOPLE, not bankers. We all have our priorities in our lives and consistent with our image of who we are. The more solid our Inner Self, the more consistent we are. As you look through your life, what or who are your guiding stars?

My top one is God, and for me, I relate to that God as Jesus--much easier to relate to. I also chose to honor the feminine side of God by acknowledging the Hindu Kali, mother of mankind and its greatest defender. Somewhere along the way, Jesus lost His feminine side, so I have to inject it back in there.

Jesus' Great Commandment was "Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself." So I accept that as my top priority, and being who I am, and believing that "neighbor" means one who lives with me on this planet, I include a lot of living beings in that scope!

"The Earth is my birthplace and all humans my brothers" was my motto for when I became Worthy Advisor, with a theme of brotherhood, a flower being a stalk of winter wheat which is the metaphor for love in a Great Falls author's book, "Winter Wheat". We sang "Let There Be Peace on Earth and Let It Begin With Me" at the end of each meeting.

Where does my fidelity lie?
First God and, as an outreach of that, to the goal of a lasting world peace and respect for all mankind; and to Love--expressing that in all I do.

Next to myself: "to Thine Own Self Be True"--those things that give me wings in spite of my background that didn't include them: genetics, dancing especially ballet, songs/poetry; connecting with the ocean or the prairies (they give me a similar feeling and the mountains which give me the opposite feeling; Art, architecture,and interior designing: animals,spiritual learning and experience, Indian culture and cooking, writing, teaching. I love beauty--in movement, in art, in nature, in science, and I love mankind. I love to learn, grow, and share what I have discovered in order to give others the same joy of living that I have "down to the base pair level," and to help them avoid the suffering that I have brought upon myself.

Then my husband, so Nepal and Australia are my current top picks for places to go--that's where he is from and where his brother now lives. I appreciate his music and his interests even when I don't share them. I work to honor God through him and I am interested in his religion, so physics, and his culture, so Nepali cooking and life.

Below him are my parents: those things that connect me with them--church,genealogy, Scottish/Irish/Welsh heritage,horses, Montana,history,American Indian culture,winter wheat,hand sewing, flowers, baking; a connection to the common man, law

Then below them are my other fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, best friends--I have had several "chosen family" as I found that I had a great need for loving throughout my life, so cooking,flying,sailing, fishing,canoeing, hunting, Golden Retrievers, Huskies,quilting, sports.

So first wings, then roots, and I must also nourish my rhizomes--takes a lot of energy. So I find I best like those things which combine a few of the above--like watching stars: they dance so they nourish my wings; they remind me of Montana, hence nourish my roots, and they connect me with my husband, nourishing my main rhizome.

What guiding stars do you have? What about them nourishes your wings, roots, and rhizomes? There lies your fidelity. If you don't have God at the top, then you are--is football really "Number One"? Or is it power, also known as control,feeling superior to others, instead of love? This is the difference between being a "good" person and being a "moral" person. A moral person does things because of how it makes them feel. A "good" person does it because God--Someone outside of themselves, Someone who they acknowledge as superior, but not with human faults--demands it of them. The way is not always smooth or your choice, but it is the Blissful Path and by far the best lit.

This Wild Precious Life "Green: Immortality"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver

"What can you do with your days but work & hope
Let your dreams bind your work to your play
What can you do with each moment of your life
But love til you've loved it away
Love til you've loved it away" -- Bob Franke

"What we do for ourselves dies with us.
What we do for others remains and is immortal."---Albert Pike

There is no doubt in my mind that there is a part of us that continues to live after death. It is that part of us that returns to the Light. It is that part of us that we reflect back to the Great Light. The part of us that we share with our mate and with which we trust our best friends.

This is the one station for which I have the ritual work permanently, indelibly, in my mind. So much does this evoke that speech that I am having difficulty writing as I have vowed not to share those words. Why do I believe without doubt that there is life after death? Because I was aware of my deceased parents, and my great-nephew who died in 2000, and the horses they rode that had died years before--all standing just outside the cemetery boundary when we buried my mother's ashes. I felt my father's presence when I needed it. I also heard them from far away tell me that I needed to get on with life, that they had other work. Three months before my mother's death, she had a dream where God told her, "There is much work to be done." And then He called her Home--apparently needed some help for His Work. Especially since Pope John Paul III died a month later. I concluded something really big was up!

Seriously, I believe that science and religion are ways for us to evolve and evolution is the reason we are here. Not evolution of this frail mud body, but evolution of our soul. There is Enlightenment. There is a purpose in this life, God has a plan for us. Whether we cooperate is another matter. That plan is a basic one that is flexible depending on our decisions. If we goof up. we will be presented with a slightly modified version of the plan later in our lives, until we either get it or give up. Many of us give up before we have milked all the learning out of this life that we can.

I would change Mary Oliver's quote to say, "This wild precious life" as there are more than one. There is just no way that we can learn all we need to know in one lifetime. Yet each one is precious, and we must push for all the growth we can pack into this life--Instead of the internet quote which describes sliding into home with our bodies all used up. It is slamming into Homebase with our souls crammed full of life lessons. Perhaps this is why we have so much chaos in our world.

"You must have chaos in yourself in order to give birth to a dancing star. I say unto you. You HAVE chaos in yourself." from Thus Spake Zarathustra,
by Friederich Nietzche

Confront your chaos, embrace it and learn from it. THAT is the Omnipotent One's plan for you.